Life Is Too Short and Fragile

Over the past year, I have had the honor of working at a hospital. The hospital I work for mainly serves the elderly, but we do get our fair share of middle aged folk.

After leaving my teaching/retail job in August 2019, I began studying hospital administration just as something interesting to do and to give my brain a chance to take a break from what I had been doing previously. The timing could not have been better. I have been able to work through the pandemic and I now have an entirely different perspective to life in general.

First of all, this whole experience has been incredibly humbling. I realize that my worst day teaching was better, in the grand scheme of things, than I could appreciate in the moment.

COVID came through the facility and while it scared me, I learned that our species has the ability to diminish the chance of contracting illness thanks to science and the work of people who study such things. I knew this cognitively already in high school, but the hospital environment made it crystal clear to me. I trust the science now, where as, I was only passingly interested in it previously.

Life is too short and fragile. I must give in to my desire to teach. It is a calling I always had. If I lose my hearing in the process, then so be it. At least I can say I lived my life being true to myself and doing what I really love doing.

I have gone through life feeling like a square peg that constantly tries to fit in to the proverbial round hole. The closest I got to feeling like my true self without guilt or shame hasn’t happened yet in my pre or post Berklee life. Berklee was the only place where I felt like myself because I was surrounded by people who love the craft of music.

I am not a business guy. So while I was really happy teaching in Hong Kong, I dreaded the role of business owner. So, I have been down that path and I won’t be doing that again.

Performance has never been my thing. The biggest misconception I feel people have of musicians is that they must perform. Who knows, I might one day find the right combination of people and be totally happy to do so. Let’s rule out performance for the time being as the thing I will pursue next. Maybe one day I will explain why I dread performance so much.

What I need is an academic environment where I can teach. A place where someone else handles the administration, marketing, teaching venue, etc. More importantly, a place where the students are really keen on learning and they also do the work. My biggest pet peeve is students who don’t do the work. That is the next step, should everything go as planned. While plans don’t always go the way one envisions them to go, events have been set in motion. Now I wait and see what happens next.

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